This is your reminder that it’s absolutely okay to miss certain toxic relationships, your sick body, your drug of choice, or anything else that hurt.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You’ll get where you need to be when you’re ready.
To anyone struggling with anxiety right now: I know right now you feel like you’re going to die. I know you can’t imagine that your heart is going to still beat after this. But it will.
You can be the fastest runner, but in the end, you cannot out run your feelings because you can’t keep running forever.
It’s okay to keep repeating the same mistakes. We can’t make changes instantly. We can’t repair habits or beliefs that may have taken years to develop. It may have taken a lifetime to develop. And it’s not just going to stop overnight. Sure, we don’t want to keep making the same mistakes. We think once we know better, we should do better. But the process can be slow. And it is not linear. You may be doing well for months or years, and then one day you’re struck by the same thought processes or behaviors you thought you were done with. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it just means there’s some more work to be done. We all will always have work to do.
Life doesn’t come with a trigger warning (nor should it), but many things on the internet do have a trigger warning. Don’t seek these things out when you’re feeling vulnerable. It’s a sure way to feel worse and potentially lead you to act on your feelings. That’s kind of the point of the warning…
The absolute truth of the matter is that school will always be there. Your health comes first and that might mean taking off a semester or a year or 10 years. And in that time your interests might change and you’ll develop a new focus and a new drive. You may not finish “on time”, but you’ll finish when you’re ready.